matthew_hyde (matthew_hyde) wrote in monitorwomb,
matthew_hyde
matthew_hyde
monitorwomb

Smoking Is Bad For You.

Before someone insanely put a bullet into the head of DC's B-list superstar the Blue Beetle, he did some public information films. Here's one of them.

mutter mutter grim and gritty mutter didio mutter mutter....
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I think we should make a similar video, warning against the dangers of KILLING OFF PERFECTLY GOOD CHARACTERS FOR NO REASON AND LETTING THE LIKES OF "Manhunter" CONTINUE
(Blue Beetle enters in full costume, with a bandage around his head)

Beetle - Hi, I'm the Blue Beetle, and I'd like to warn you all about a scourge that is scourging our fair country.

(Enter Booster)

Booster - "Scourge that is scourging"? Dude, that's lame.

Beetle - Booster, I'm filming here!

Booster - Hey, don't let me interupt.

Beetle - (To camera) Yes, our nation is being scourged by the forces of grimness, the gritty shocktroops of a humourless age.

Booster - Yep, those shocktroops sure are scourging!

Beetle - These men (pictures of Didio, Johns and Rucka appear on screen) are responsible for the systematic death of the Funny. Yes, the litany of the scourged is near endless. Rocket Red, comedy beardy Russian dude - blown up. Sue Dibny - incinerated. Max Lord - went crazy, telepathically controlled Superman, Wonder Woman snapped his neck like a twiglet. No-one is safe. Only last week, Batman made a joke...

Booster - It was more of a witticism.

Beetle - ...made a witticism...

Booter - A Batticism!

Beetle - ...Made a WITTICISM and was immediately set upon by a mysterious assailant armed with the first three issues of All Star Batman and Robin (the Boy Wonder). Fortunately for us, Batman ripped the guy's arm off and fed it to him.

Booster - Tell them what happened to you, Ted.

Beetle - I myself was shot in the head by a man I once called my friend.

Booster - And then you got cremated.

Beetle - And my mask was sent to Batman.

Booster - So why are you here?

Beetle - I'll explain later.

Booster - Whatever. I still think you need to move on.

Beetle - What?!

Booster - Chill a little!

Beetle - I was shot! In the head!

Booster - And I broke the space-time continuum, you don't see me complaining.

Beetle (to camera) - ANYWAY, I urge you, resist these scourgers! Vote with your wallets! Buy I Can't Believe Its The Justice League or Formerly Known As the Justice League, now available in trade paperback from all good comic stores!

Booster - Powergirl's in them! She's a BIG star! If you see what I mean!

Beetle - She hears that, she's gonna force feed you the space-time continnuum.

Booster - Yeah, but I'd die happy.

Beetle - *sigh8 (to camera) FIGHT THE SCOURGING!

THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT WAS BOUGHT TO YOU BY DC COMICS - SLIGHTLY LESS DECOMPRESSED THAN MARVEL!



(Blue Beetle and Booster Gold are the copyright of DC Comics. This post is intended for entertainment purposes and is not for profit. So no scourges.)